Do you like to write essays? Freak.
      In school, we all have to write essays. Some of us are okay with that.
      Others go into a murderous rage. But we all have to write them, whether we are okay with it, or ready to commit homicide.
      So, here's a few handy tips:

  1. Use a lot of BS to take up room on the page.
  2. Use a lot of BS to impress whoever is reading it.
  3. Use a lot of BS to support your theories, ideas and other strange thoughts that come from your head and end up on your paper.
  4. Use a lot of BS to support your previous BS.
  5. Never underestimate the power of BS.

      The biggest thing I can tell young essay writers today is USE BS!!! It helps your essay look better, it hides your mistakes, and it impresses people that ordinarily wouldn't give a piece of recycled paper. The whole point of writing an essay is to see who can string together their BS the best.
      Oh, of course every teacher has their own little way they want you to arrange your BS, some want three body paragraphs, some don't care how many. It really doesn't matter. Take your teacher's rules, and then load them with BS. If you make your BS relevant to whatever your topic is, and you follow the format your teacher sets out for you, you will be guaranteed a good grade.
      The whole point of writing an essay is the BS. If you don't believe me, try it. Your teacher will love it.

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